Jeremiah Ray - 3 weeks post-op
i am endlessly impressed by the body’s ability to heal and recover. the trick to recovery is patience and acceptance of what is, where one is at etc. the body knows what it needs to heal, as does the heart and mind.
i understand that recovering from treatment is not so simple – or quick! during my initial treatment, prior to recurrence, prior to understanding a lot of my emotional and psychological needs while battling cancer, my recovery time wasn’t so easy (for lack of a better term). yes, i was back to a regular diet just a few days after the last infusion cycle. after some treatment days i would even venture off to the woods for a gentle stroll through nature. but the pendulum hadn’t begun its return journey to center, to “normalcy” – i was certainly not feeling “normal.” my emotions were a continuous roller-coaster ride; i was easily stressed out to the point of panic attacks, i felt either angry or sad or nothing at all. it was horrifying – post treatment recovery is a long and arduous journey. although we adjust and settle into the new way of being & feeling/thinking, i’m not sure the same state of what we once deemed “normal” is ever reached again. during treatment there is a sense of timing, an end point to which we can align ourselves and aim for. even if the treatment schedule is adjusted, and they often are, if one breaks it down to just the day-to-day regimen, there is knowledge that it will be over soon. i had infusions that lasted 8 hours (days 1 - 5 every 21 days / VIP & VeIP). i distinctly remember the last IV bag being setup and knowing that, even though it was only day 2 (for example) there was only 60 minutes left for the day. post treatment, there is no real time-frame to wrap one’s head around. this is the hardest part to fathom; the logical brain so desperately seeks that end date, time-frame, or point to which we can aim… it just doesn’t work that way.
my initial post about the sudden immobility in my left arm and subsequent discovery of a 3.2cm lesion in my brain feels like it was written a lifetime ago. i am now a little over three weeks post surgical resection. the surgeon, with whom i met yesterday (5/22/17), was very happy with the overall healing and slow and steady return of movement to my arm. they were, and continue to remain so, very optimistic. furthermore, they feel more comfortable about the upcoming steps and procedures knowing i had a few additional weeks to recover, heal, and rest prior to undergoing more treatment.